Herstory of Maldeeb Remix - The Prequel

Much debate is wasted on trying to figure out the earliest of histories of the world. And small states like Maldives gets left out coz there isn't any oil or dinosaur bones here. Infact who gives a damn about the country at all? It is more of a ornamental location in the world than a valued and strategic land. I know, Diego Garcia and the recent Chinese deals to build a base here. But that is now. What about all these years?

If you have read the Herstory of Maldeeb - Remix post, you might be wondering why it is so absurd. Well it ain’t. And this is why.

Maldeeb Herstory Triology - The Prequel
Aftermath of Ramayana

Plot Outline: Bagheera the Panther and Baloo the Bear have a difficult time trying to convince a boy to leave the jungle for human civilization. [www.imdb.com]

Maldives was a known entity and a famous trade route even at 2000 B.C. That is like two thousand years before Eesaa[gefaanu] or about 4000 years ago. That is way before Singapura was even a concept. So why didn’t Maldives become [or remain] the top shipping port in the whole world while Singapore has achieved this? Who cares.

It was right after Ramayana and Hanuman had burnt down the Lanka by improvising a flame thrower by lighting his tail on fire and farting. So Ravana, the demon king was killed. One of his sons, Koimalaa, was newly wed and was refusing to go into exile. His advisors cum body guards, Bagheera and Baloo were trying really hard to convince him to flee.

Anyways, Maldives seems to have been inhabited when Christopher Columbus enroute to USA picked hitchhikers named Prince Koimalaa Kalo and his newly wed bride. His bodyguards Bagheera and Baloo also joined in. The Koimalaa couple dropped off with the excuse of picking some cowries shells and missed his ship’s cast off time. Actually they wanted to spend their honeymoon on the white sandy beaches of the paradise on earth. Lots of tourists pay small fortunes to spend their time in the Maldives nowadays.

Had he waited his honeymoon a bit longer, We and not the Europeans would have been the citizens of the mighty America today. But hey, men have been given 2 heads, and enough blood to operate only one at a time. Now they were stranded.

Baloo had also dropped off for a refreshing swim and stayed back. Bagheera didn’t and ended up in America. He later co-founded the Black Panthers. Baloo later became the advisor to the King and got a nice salary.

Alas! Kaloa didn’t know what to do. Most royals don’t anyway. He needed food, clothing and shelter. You know... the bare necessities of life. He called for his advisor, he called for his wife and he called for his fiddlers three. Only a coconut fell on his head. He was so happy that he named it the national tree and coconut the national food and everything else of the tree was considered useful and made a national something or other.

He discovered gravity too when he questioned why the coconut fell on his head and that he didn’t rise to the top of the palm instead. These findings were lost when some of the Loamaafaanu was melted for weapons in the Bronze Age to fight the invading hordes.

He changed his name to Mowgli, thus the name Mowgli-dhives (Mowgli’s country) was coined. As Maldives was the best location for a port in the International trade routes, sailors dropped by a lot. And some opted to stay. Thus habitation of the country began at a grand scale.

Dhives was created by NCLHR by Soadhu and a handful of others. It was made the National language. Soadhu is still an authoritative figure on the language and is well respected by those who respect him.

What else? Oh yes. Mowgli’s beloved wife was Saint Anna-Maria (Santi Mariyambu) sister of Rex Anna-Maria (Rannamaari). You see, all these people were demons fresh outta the jungle back then. Like the Bhutanese claim that they are descendents of Thunder Dragons, we have our heritage to Demon Kings. Where did you think all these Jinni’s and stuff came from?

Well, yada yada yada... and then, at some point in time, Kalaminja was born. Actually he was adopted coz the king at the time was sterile. Kalaminja was actually Mowgli’s wife’s brother in disguise as a baby boy back then. He was cursed by Ravana which made him turn into his horny demonic form once a month. This was coz he made a pass at Ravana’s captured bride-to-be Sita. And those who watch Manga (especially Hentai) know how horny demons can be.

So he ruled until his demon was exorcised by BBB. Maldives turned Islam. And then he ruled some more.

As Maldives had its heritage dating to the Ramayan, Hindi movies were allowed while all other religions and their references were banned. Yes, now you know why Hindi movies and its cultures are allowed. Traditions and culture precedes faith. Always.

Disclaimer

The above events were not checked for factual correctness. I claim neither glory nor responsibility for any accuracy. Any existence of the above fictional characters is purely coincidental. Any attempts to prove or disprove this are futile.

Believe it or not? You better believed it. After all you believed the Rannamaari story too. That’s like teaching porn to a bunch of kids in the guise of teaching history. Mmm. Sweet curriculum.