Tuesday, June 30, 2009

It's a SIgN!

Maldivian Law was devised to impose war against signatures.

Under the Article 3, Chapter 2 of the Law governing Official Kanthahthah, all documents shall be written in a legible and beautiful matter. Sweet! And it should have both the Hijri and Gregorian calendar dates. Fine! And the signature on it shall be in Thaana or Arabic or the language used in the document, and thus, most signatures made on the official documents by the ignorant Maldivians are illegal. WTF?

Or else, they gonna get legal on your ass under Article Haa, Article 88 or the Penile Code - which is jail, exile or house arrest of up to 6 months or a fine of up to MRf 150/-.

Does the idiot who wrote that piece of crap into the Law have any idea what a signature is or means? Can that person differentiate between a signature and a person’s name? Was the nincompoop enjoying a glass of McDowell’s Signature Rare when this was formulated?

Alright, so you got me there. All my official documents including my passport and national registration card have been deemed instantly void by this piece of legal mumbo jumbo. My ignorance. But WTF did the government officials accept this all along?

But why stop at just that? Why does the Law also not specify the font typeface to be used and whether it should be TrueType or OpenType? Can we use bold or italics? Which colour pens can be used? Ball point or felt or fountain pen? Can the person sign using either right or left hand? Can the signature be performed while standing or lying on a bed? How much pressure should be used? What is the legal length to breadth ratio? Which angle of alleviation is acceptable? Can we use dotted Thaana notations? Should we use vowels forms when signing in Arabic just in case a moronic Maldivian government official is unable to read it correctly? Can we draw pretty flowers on it? What is the correct spelling of Achmed in Thaana?

But hey, other lawyers have a difference in opinion. The person thinks that apparently the idiots who wrote the must have had something else in mind when they wrote it. I hope we don’t get into another bout of trying to interpret what some guy said ages ago.

Why doesn’t the government just do away with the signature and get the people to simply write their name at the bottom? What other purpose is a signature meant fulfill anyway?